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Rant About Prenatal Visits

Hello everyone,

Today's post is going to be more of a rant.

When I was forced to switch from an midwife to and OB, I was heartbroken; not just because of the midwife but because I really liked the hospital. Never the less, I searched for a doctor that would allow me to have the most natural birth possible.

After a few weeks, I found a wonderful doctor. She supported natural birth. She is going to allow me to walk during labor, use birthing ball, birth in a tub, eat in labor, and I'm not required to have an IV. So, I am very pleased.

I do have a few complaints however and I don't think they are against her. I think I would experience the same treatment at any doctors office.

As many of you probably know, they start you off having a prenatal appointment once a month; at 28 weeks you start going every two weeks, then at 35 weeks you go in once a week. I know this is for safety measures but the truth is, she isn't doing anything.

When I go in we don't talk much. She checks the fetal heart tones, my blood pressure, and weight. All of these things I can do at home.

I don't even have her number if I were to go into labor. As a matter of fact I don't know if she is going to be the doctor delivering me because she is in a physicians group.

It feels like they are just racking up money with my insurance company. But I guess that's how it works.

Have any of you had this problem?

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment. NO judgment here.

Business of Being Born

When I created this site I didn't want my blog posts to be formed from my bias opinion. However, I have begin to realize that I am here not to just give you information but to share my heart. Also, I understand that I do have opinions and they are biased because they come from my own experiences. I didn't create this site to make others like me but to give the best information possible. I am more than a news reporter.

Business of Being Born

Today I would like to share with you my thoughts and insights on the documentary called Business of Being Born. I must say, it was a true eye opener for me. Before I saw the documentary I sort of knew that I wanted a natural birth; meaning no drugs and medical inductions. But after I watched it, I was certain of it.

The movie really does a compare and contrast of having a midwife or an OB. They look at the medical industry with a critical eye. And the more OB appointments I attend, I understand why. I started off with a midwife but because of insurance reasons had to switch. The midwife had me take all of the necessary tests but the office I switched to didn't seem to care even though they told me to bring my medical records. I was under the impression that I didn't have to take the same test twice. I was wrong. I know many of you will say it is to protect themselves and that may be true but my insurance got charged for the same tests twice. Any way whats done is done.

On Business of Being Born, produced by Ricki Lake, they inform you that in the past all babies were delivery by midwives. Believe it or not that is the way it is still done in most of the world, and these countries have a smaller death rate in infants and mothers.

In this country we believe that having the latest advancements in technology will keep us safer. On the contrary. Many of the interventions we use are meant for emergencies. Most women are having normal births not emergencies.

A baby being born is not an emergency but rather a natural process that the body can do without help. Birth was perfectly designed and we don't need to help it.

The documentary points out that when we interrupt the body's natural process; it causes problems. One intervention leads to the next.

Example:

If your labor is induced by Pitocin; it makes the contractions unnaturally stronger. Since the contractions are unnaturally stronger and faster your body is not able to adapt to the changes. This will make you need an epidural which will slow down your contractions. Then you will require more Pitocin. This could make the baby's heart rate drop, which will lead to an emergency C Section.

I know this doesn't happen in every case but it does happen. In my opinion natural is the way to go.

Also Business of Being born explained that hospitals have a time frame in which they want labor to progress in. Unfortunately, labor is not this predictable. But there are some things you can do to get the process going.

Maybe if the hospital would allow all patients to walk around, eat, and stop making labor something to fear; it would move along faster.

The documentary didn't try to bad mouth the medical industry. It just sheds some light on a few problems. They informed women to do our research and to try not to be scared into anything. Learn what the pros and cons are and make an informed decision.

I really enjoyed watching the movie. They showed natural birth at its finest in homes and birth centers. I was really shocked that Ricki Lake chose to be nude during her labor and allowed it on camera. I'm sure she got a lot of fan mail for that. They also showed an emergency birth, which took place at the hospital. See, interventions have there place but not in every case.

The truth is that doctors specialize in surgery. They are bored unless somethings is going wrong. Think about it, they don't show up until it is time to push. They are there to catch. Midwives specialize in natural low risk births. They are with you through your labor. They can listen to your voice and tell if you are progressing.

Ricki also produced a documentary series called More business of being born. It covered birth stories, doulas, vbacs, and c sections.

If you are uncertain about the proper birth method for you I would suggest watching these movies and make an informed decision.

Thanks for reading,

My Hospital Orientation

If you are having your first child or your first child at a particular hospital, you want to have an hospital orientation. My husband and I had ours today and I am glad that we did. They were able to answer many questions for us.

I think this step is important because every hospital is different and has different policies and procedures.
Here is an overview of what we learned.

1. Call Ahead

If I think that I am in labor I was advised to call my doctor to see when she recommends me to come to the hospital. When we chose to come to the hospital we are to call them ahead in order for them to be prepared for us. We were also told that if you have a scheduled induction or c section, we were told to call labor and delivery to see if they had a room available. If they don't have room then they will tell us to wait at home for awhile. Or we could sit in the waiting room. That's no fun.

I am sure most hospitals have this policy. This is the process that I have witnessed on all of the labor and delivery television shows.

2.Admitting or Assessment

We were told that if we are scheduled for a induction or c section we would check in at admitting. However, at this point my husband and I are not having an induction therefore, when we are in labor we will go to assessment.

They gave us very clear instructions about assessment. I am to stay in the car while my husband informs the staff that I have arrived. Then, they will bring a wheelchair for me. I don't think I will need this but whatever, right. I hate how things are so medical. I'm not sick, I am just having a baby. But I digress.

Then they will assess me to see if I am in labor. They say I could be in this stage for up to 4 hours. One person is allowed in the assessment room with me. The guild recommended that we not call other family members at this time because they may send me home. And the waiting room isn't very big.

At the hospital I am planning to deliver at has a service called OB Express. This means that I can register for the hospital before I go into labor. This will avoid me having to answer insurance questions during labor. How annoying would that be?

We were also told to bring a 2 bags but to leave the big bag in the car until after the baby is born.

3. Labor and Delivery

• Natural Birth

We are planning for a natural birth. This means that our labor experience will be different than other birth experiences. They informed us that they will ask me some questions which my husband can't be present for. They said it's for legal reason. I understand they want to cover themselves but what? He is my husband and we don't have secrets but okay. I'll just tell him later.

• Birthing Options

While I am laboring I will have the freedom to move around. They have a bed of course, a birthing ball, and a tub and a shower. I think I also saw a birthing bar and stool on their website. If I choose to birth the baby in the water, they will use a portable tub, in order to have access to me on three sides. I know I might want to labor in the tub but I am not sure about birth. We will have to see.

• Monitoring and Eating

During labor I will be able to have a portable monitor. They will also allow me to have what's called a labor diet. I had asked my doctor about this but I need to see what I am allowed to have.

Since I will be going natural I don't have to have an IV but I will have a Hep Lock for emergency access. I don't really care for this but I understand their concerns.

•  People Allowed in the Room

During labor I am allowed to have 4 people in the room. In the pushing stage I am allowed 3 people in the room. This is not a problem for me because I was only planning on having my husband in there. But now I think maybe my mom.

• Discuss With My Doctor

She also stressed going over my labor plans with my doctor because they will follow my doctors orders. If you have read my birth preferences you know I have already cover my basis here.

• Inductions or C Sections

If you are having a induction or c section things will play out a little differently. You will have to be monitored more and you have to be on a liquid diet for induction. I am almost positive that you can't have any nourishment if you are having a c section because of nausea.

4. After the Birth

If all is well after the birth my baby and I will go to our room we will stay in until we depart for home. They have a nursery but my husband and I are not planning to us it at this time. He will stay overnight with us. At this stage, we can have as many visitors as we want. And I can eat whatever I want.

I will be assign a mommy/baby nurse and she will make sure that we are fine. The hospital will provide all that we need for the baby such as pamper. I do plan to bring a few outfits to take pictures and bring baby home in.

Typical a natural birth patient will stay in the hospital for 48 hours but it is the decision of the doctor. Here again I know they are just covering their basis but a midwife would allow me to go home sooner. Before anyone says something, I know, I know it is for the safety of me and the baby.

The pediatrician will come to the hospital an check on the baby to make sure that all is well.

They advised us to install the car seat ahead of time because the nurses are not allowed to help us with it.

Again, every hospital is different. If your hospital has an orientation class or a tour I would strongly suggest that you take it because we received a wealth of knowledge.

Hypnobirthing

If you are planning on having natural labor and delivery, there are many relaxation techniques that you can use. It can be very overwhelming to find the program that is best for you. I too have dealt with this dilemma. How do you know what technique really works? How do you know if they are just selling you something? The truth is; you don't! You just have to trust something. But, I don't think you will really know until you are in the thick of labor.

I have come to terms with this. And I hope I have not made a mistake with my choices.

I am if you have read my birth plan you know that I am planning for a completely natural birth. This means that I will have a vaginal birth without medication. I have found a program that I feel fits me well.

Hypnobirthing

Hynobirthing is a birthing technique that teaches you to let go of the fear that can normally accompany labor. It teaches you that labor is a natural process and that all women are equip to do it. Our bodies were designed for it. 

It also uses breathing and visualizations techniques to help with the pressure of labor. They have also created words that have less negative feeling applied to them. An example of this is instead of using the term contractions; they call them surges, pressure waves. or birthing waves.

I don't think there was a Hypnobirthing class in my area and I didn't want to spend the money on it anyway; not knowing if it truly works.

But I did buy the book Hypnobirthing: The Morgan Method  from Amazon.com. Here are a few techniques that I will probably use while in labor.

Breathing Techniques

• Sleep Breathing

Sleep Breathing is a technique that is to be used between contraction. It is designed to keep you relaxed and focused in between contractions. With this technique you breathe in through your nose for 4 counts and allow your stomach to expand like a balloon. Then you breathe out through you nose for 8 counts.

• Slow Breathing

Slow Breathing is a technique that is used during a contraction. It is designed to help you relax into the contraction. The more you are relaxed the quicker you will dilate. With this technique you breathe in through your nose for 20 quick counts and breathe out through your nose with 20 quick counts. The focus on the breathing helps you cope with each contraction.

• Birth Breathing

Birth Breathing is a technique used to bring your baby down the birth canal. Instead of pushing, which is traditionally done, you breathe the baby down. This requires no pushing which can help with tearing. You take a short breath in through your nose and a long breath out allowing the baby to gently descend. 

Visualizations

The book also goes into visualizations. You are advised to visualize the baby coming down the birth canal. You are also told to visualize your uterus working properly and birth going smoothly.

Hypnobirthing does not require you to use all the techniques in the book. It tells you to choose the ones that work best for you. However, you are asked to practice everyday. They say this is the most important part.

I thought it wouldn't hurt to try it because it is also said that people that use these techniques have quicker births.

Your Birthing Place

If you are pregnant for the first time, you may not know what your options are. You, as did I, thought that birth was a one way street traveled by everyone. I assumed that you do what the doctor tells you because they are the professionals.

All of this changed dramatically when I finally became pregnant and began to do my research. I realized that pregnant women do have options, depending on your situation, concerning your birthing place.

3 Birth Place Options

• Hospital Birth

This is the most common choice in America. Many people are comforted by this option because it makes them feel safer because birth can be a scary process for many women. If you choose this option, you will have to comply with medical personnel. Every hospital has policies and procedures that you are required to follow at some degree. 

With a hospital birth medications for pain relief are available and if an emergency occurs you will have immediate access. 

Keep in mind that hospitals have a certain way they prefer a labor to progress and if your body is slow to adapt, they may recommended inductions of labor or a c-section.

I am having a hospital birth. Not because that is what I wanted but because I am limited in my geographical area. After much research I realized that it was important for me to find a physician that agreed with my birthing style and birth plan. Check out my post on my birth plan.

• Birthing Center

If you choose a birthing center you will be using a midwife. 

1. Hospital Birth Center

There are some hospitals that have birth centers in or around their facility. If you use a hospital birth center you will still have to comply with hospital policy. However, the rooms have a more homey look to them. 

At a hospital birth center you will have immediate access to the hospital staff if you need them. Keep in mind that women that us the the birth center are striving for a natural birth. A midwife can not administer medications. 

This is the option that I had originally chosen for my birth but for insurance purposes I had to switch to a hospital.

2. Off Site Birth Center

You also have the option of an off site birth center. This is a wonderful option for women that are looking for a very natural process. You will be delivered by a midwife and the center has a homey feel to it. 

A midwife is a good judge of when to transfer a patient if a problem arises. They are not certified to administer certain pain medications and procedures. However, they can give a little Pitocin and IV. 

This is my ideal birthing situation but I don't have one available in my city.

• Home Birth

This is the options that many people still use outside of the US. If you choose this option you will have a midwife come to your home. You will get the same treatment as at a birth center with the availability of transport; but you will be in the comfort of your own home.

Many people don't believe this is a safe option but some women swear by it. There are even some women that go for an unassisted home birth, meaning no midwife.

The key to finding your ideal birthing place is to do what is most comfortable for you. Don't feel pressured by others that are not informed but speaking out of fear. 

I never considered home birth because my husband and I like in a small apartment. I couldn't do the unassisted home birth because I think I would be to freaked out.

Do your research and see which option is best for you. If you have any questions or feedback please comment. And share this blog with others.

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea

If you have ever had miscarriage, given birth, or had a period even; at some point you have wondered; "When is the bleeding going to stop"? I remember feeling this way during my miscarriage. It seems that every day was getting worse and worse. At one point the bleeding stopped and then started back again. I thought it would never end. I looked online for the answer and I found what worked for me.

During Miscarriage

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea worked almost immediately. It is a tea used to tone the uterus and support the female reproductive system. It must have healed my uterus or made my body work better. Whatever happen; all I know is that the bleeding finally stopped.

All Women

This tea is said to be good for all women to drink because can help with your cycle and may even reduce your cramps.

In Pregnancy

Some pregnant women drink this Red Raspberry Leaf Tee during their third trimester to prepare the body for labor. Drinking this tea during labor is recommended because it can help your contractions be more effective.

Don't use this Red Raspberry Leaf Tea during your first trimester because it can cause miscarriage.

How To Make Red Raspberry Leaf Tea

• Boil 8 ounces of water
• Pour the boiling water in a cup with one tea bag and put a lid on it
• Steep for 10 to 15 minutes

You can put honey in it if you'd like. I prefer sugar.

The tea is made from the leaf of the raspberry and not the fruit. You can purchase it at your local health food store.

Please consult with your health care professional about drinking this tea.

Birth Preferences

Some people feel that a birth plan is a recipe for disaster. I think it is a good idea to have one as long as you keep an open mind. I choose to use the term birth preferences. I have written my preferences below. My doctor has approved and signed it. Check with you physician to see what is allowed where you are delivering.

My Birth Preferences

My husband and I have chosen you as our medical advisors and birthing facility, as the people we want to assist us when our baby is born. We have chosen to birth our child naturally into this world. We are looking forward to a quiet relaxed environment. From everything we have heard we are assured that you ill do your best to help us attain a joyous, memorable, and most satisfying natural birth.

The information that follows is a copy of our birth preferences:

Pre-Admission Requests 

• To complete all required paperwork during pre-admission visit to eliminate interruption during relaxation of labor
• To delay labor induction to 42 weeks unless deemed medically necessary
• To delay labor induction for a considerable period after a membrane rupture if we show no signs of infection
• To remain at home as long as possible before going to the hospital

For Hospital Admission

• To refrain from having any practice or procedure that could risk us not having the most natural birth possible (unless medical emergency)
• The opportunity to discuss our birth preferences with our assigned nurse
• To self hydrate and to decline routine IV prep upon admission (Hep Lock is okay)
• To have a quiet labor and birthing room with dim lights and music supplied by me
• To have only intermittent monitoring after the mandatory 20 minute strip at admissions
• Keep our baby's gender a secret (we don't want to find out)

During First Stage of Labor

• Only necessary hospital staff and husband allowed in birthing room
• Do not offer pain relieving drugs and labor enhancing procedures
• Internal monitoring only in the case of emergency
• Nutritional snacking if labor is prolonged
• Freedom to change positions or use labor positions of choice
• Minimal number of vaginal exams
• Do not rupture membranes
• To enjoy labor tub or shower if needed
• Quiet during uterine surges (contractions)

During Birthing

• No coaching to "push"! Allow my body to use its abilities to deliver our baby slowly without force
• Episiotomy only if necessary and only after discussion

Following Birthing

• Immediate skin to skin contact, if all is well
• Cord to be clamped and cut only after pulsating has ceased
• Wait for natural placental delivery
• No cord traction, manual removal, or Pitocin unless necessary

For Baby

• Baby to remain with me and the father
• Father and baby stay with me during hospital stay
• If it is a boy do not circumcise him right away. We will wait 8 days from time of birth.
• Breastfeeding only

Your birth plan can be whatever you like. Depending on your birthing environment you can have certain freedoms. If you have any questions about my birth preferences feel free to ask.

Gestational Diabetes Food

I am nearly 30 weeks pregnant and I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. These are some recommendations from my Nutritionist, with a few variations of course :-) She advised me to eat light yogurt but I don't like it. Full fat dairy for me.

Okay, so I didn't completely behave myself. Find the items that shouldn't be there.

What am I making?

Yum! Lettuce, Tomato, Cranberries, Pecans, and Balsamic Vinaigrette

Gestational Diabetes

Gestational Diabetes is diagnosed during pregnancy. It is caused by the growing placenta of the unborn baby, which can cause the mother to become insulin resistant. Normally, it goes away after the baby is born.

Having Gestational Diabetes puts the mother and baby at risk for developing Type 2 Diabetes during their life span.

It is important that you control it because it can cause complications during your pregnancy. The main two are:

• Hypertension in the mother
• Overweight baby

Fortunately Gestational Diabetes is treatable.

Your doctor will recommend:

Check Your Blood Sugar

You will need to purchase a Glucometer with strips, and lancets. Your doctor can show you how to us it.  You will check your blood sugar 4 times a day.

1. Fasting - Check your sugar before breakfast - it should be between 60-90
2. 2 Hours after each meal - breakfast, lunch, and dinner - it should be less than 120

You may be asked to report your numbers to the doctor on a weekly basis.

Exercise

You also will be asked to walk for 30 minutes after breakfast and 30 minutes after dinner. Exercise will help your blood distribute the glucose to your cells.

Diet

At most medical practices, if you have Gestational Diabetes, you will be asked to see a Nutritionist. They will create a meal plan for you. The plan is geared toward Carbohydrate counting oppose to Calorie  counting

This is not a no carb plan. It teaches you to spread your Carbohydrates through your day. On this plan you will eat 3 meals with 3 snacks between.

Example of a 2200 Calorie 1 Day Menu

• Breakfast - 2 slices of toast, 1 scrambled egg, 1 tsp of butter
• Morning Snack - 12 saltine crackers, 1 oz reduced-fat cheese
• Lunch - 2 slices of bread, 1 small apple, small salad, 2 oz turkey breast, 1 oz reduced-fat cheese, 2 tsp of mayo
• Afternoon Snack - 3 graham cracker squares, 1 Tbsp of peanut butter
• Dinner - 2/3 cup of rice, 1 small dinner roll, 1 cup of steamed broccoli, 3 oz baked chicken, 2 tsp of butter
• Bedtime Snack - 3/4 cup of unsweetened cereal, 8 oz skim milk, 1 string cheese

If you can not control your glucose levels with the above mentioned ways, your doctor will prescribe you insulin.

If you are diligent you won't have a need to worry about the complications that comes along with Gestational diabetes.

Glucose Tolerance Test

If you have read the pregnancy blogs or watched the YouTube videos,there's a chance you have heard of the dreaded glucose tolerance test. This test is designed to detect if a person has diabetes.

This test is normally administered later in your second trimester.

To ease your nerves, I will give you the low down.

2 hour Glucose Tolerance Test

Before the Test

It is important that you fast for 12 hours before the test. This means absolutely no eating, drinking including water, or chewing gum. If you violate this requirement, you will be forced to reschedule the test.

This step helps ensure that there is no sugar from food sources in your system.

Urine Sample

When you arrive your will be asked to provide a urine sample to test the glucose in your urine.

First Blood Test

After your urine sample you will be given a blood test to determine your fasting blood glucose level.

Glucola

After you do your first blood test you will be given Glucola, It is basically sugar which makes it very sweet. This is the most dreaded part of the test because it is thought to have an unpleasant taste.

Depending on your clinic, there are a variety of flavor choices. The most popular ones are fruit punch and orange.

You will be required to drink a cup full in 3 to 5 minutes. If you gag or get nauseous try to keep it down. If you vomit at any point during the test, it has to be re-administered on another date.

From my personal experience; it is not that bad.

Two Blood Tests

You will wait an hour after the glucola and take another blood test. Then you will take yet another blood test after that.

So, you will have three blood test in a two-hour window.

If you pass this glucose test. Congratulations!

However, if you don't pass the test, there are two options depending on your doctor's office.

1. Your doctor may rule you a Gestational Diabetic.
2. Your doctor could schedule you for a 3 hour glucose tolerance test.

The three-hour test is the same as the two-hour test. It just spans over a 3 hour period. If you fail this test you will be considered a Gestational Diabetic.

In a future article I will discuss, Gestational Diabetes.

Morning Sickness

When a women gets pregnant, she waits for the evil morning sickness to kick in. You hear so much about it that you are frightened at the mention of it. You wait and you wait and it never arrives. Oh wait, it just made its special appearance.

Morning sickness can kick in at any time. It can start as soon as you take a test or it can wait until the three or fourth month. However, it normally appears between week 6 and week 8.

You should also be happy to know that it doesn't affect everyone. Some women never experience it. Don't you want to be one of them?

When Does it Occur?

To you this seems like a simple question. It's called morning sickness, therefore it occurs in the morning, right? Wrong. The term morning sickness is used because it usually happens in the morning. In my experience: I was more sick at night. It also can feel more like all day sickness.

The time can vary from day-to-day.

Levels of Morning Sickness

Everyone does not experience morning sickness to the same degree. It can range from queasiness, nausea, to full-fledged vomiting. The degree to which you experience could vary daily. In fact you may even have a surprised sick attack that comes from left field.

What Causes Morning Sickness

Morning sickness is thought to be caused by the pregnancy hormone HCG and the other extra hormones. Morning sickness is also thought to be a good sign that the pregnancy is progressing. This is not always true. Also, just because you don't have morning sickness doesn't mean something is wrong with your baby.

Treatments For Morning Sickness

Pregnancy can make you very sensitive to odors. The things that you normally love, you begin to hate. During this time of pregnancy certain foods may no longer be your friend. There are ways to treat morning sickness.

• Keep crackers beside your bed. In the morning eat a few while laying on your back.
• Eat dry foods.
• Eat small frequent meals and never allow your stomach to be empty. Never allow your stomach to be overly full.
• Try not to eat and drink simultaneously. It is best to eat and wait thirty minutes to drink.
• Drink Sprite or Ginger Ale
• Avoid contact with unpleasant odors or food aversions.
• Medication

How Long Does Morning Sickness Last

It varies from person to person. Normally it tapers off by the end of the first trimester. This is when the HCG and hormone levels even out. For few people morning sickness can last for half, up to the entire pregnancy. However, this occurs in the minority.

If this is your first pregnancy and morning sickness is severe, you will convince yourself that you will never get pregnant again. Fortunately, after it passes, you will realize it is all worth it.

Why Am I Not Pregnant Yet?

You may think that there is a possibility for you to get pregnant every time you have sex. Technically, this is true but technically it is not. In order to get pregnant a few things have to line up. For some couples it can take anywhere from 6 months to a year to get pregnant; this is considered normal. Many doctors won't see you for fertility issues until you have been trying for at least one year.

To increase your chances of getting pregnant sooner, here are some recommendations.

Track Your Cycles

If you are trying to conceive it is a good idea to track your cycles. Every month take note of the first day of your cycle. Count the number of days between the start of each period.

This will give you clues about what day you probably ovulate on. If you have a regular 28 day cycle, it is a good chance that you ovulate on day 14. If you don't have regular cycles you could ovulate later. Some women can go months without a cycle, which can make it difficult to get pregnant.

Track Ovulation

Ovulation is the process of releasing an egg.

If you don't ovulate; you can't get pregnant. Even though sperm can live for several days; there is only a 12 to 24 hour window to fertilize the egg.

There are a few ways to detect ovulation: (information on these options will appear in a later article)

• Check your cervical mucus
• Check your cervical position
• Check your body temperature
• Take OPK's (Ovulation Predictor Kits)

Sexual Timing

Let's face it: To get pregnant naturally you must have sex. If you have sex at least three times a week, you should have no problem getting pregnant within a year; even without doing the steps mentioned above.

But if you want a more technical approach: Have sex every other day starting a few days before you are expected to ovulate continuing until few days after. This way you will have an optimum chance of catching the egg.

It is not advised that you have sex every day because it may dilute the sperm concentration.

The best thing to do is to relax and try not to make sex a chore. Your spouse will appreciate it. I know this is not something that a TTC-er wants to hear. Trust me I know.

If it has been over a year and the above techniques are not working; consult your doctor. There are treatments they can proscribe to regulate your cycles and cause ovulation.

If you know anyone that needs this information feel free to pass it on.

What? When Did I Get Pregnant?

Counting pregnancy generally seems complicated to most women. How can you be 4 to 6 weeks along before you even know you are pregnant? And every one says pregnancy lasts for 9 months but 40 weeks equals 10 months.I know this is confusing especially the 40 weeks equaling 9 months thing. Can't these people count? In my opinion, you are pregnant for 10 months or at least nine and a half. However, that is just my opinion.

I am going to try to make this pregnancy timing make sense.

The First Two Weeks of Pregnancy

During the first two weeks of pregnancy you are not actually pregnant. I know, I was shocked too! Your first day of pregnancy is actually the first day of your period. If you have a normal 28 day cycle you should ovulate on day fourteen, which would mark your fourteenth day of pregnancy. This is why your doctor will ask you when was the first day of your last period.However, many women do not have 28 day cycles which means that all of us don't ovulate on day fourteen. This will make your doctor's estimates a bit off.

The First Trimester

It is advised that you wait until your missed period to test for pregnancy. If you choose not to wait, it could result in a false negative.

A home pregnancy test detects the amount of HCG, a pregnancy hormone, in your urine.  It takes a few days after ovulation for this hormone to be concentrated. However, there are more sensitive tests on the market.

There are some discrepancies as to the timing of each trimester. Your first trimester ends between weeks 12 and 14. After this time most women experience less morning sickness and miscarriage is less likely.

The Second Trimester

For many women, the second trimester is a breeze. It is the extra energy period. This part of pregnancy lasts until  27 or 28 weeks.

The Third Trimester

The third trimester lasts until the delivery. You notice, I didn't say it lasts until 40 weeks. You are considered full term when you reach 37 weeks.

Many doctors consider you overdue when you are 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant. They may suggest inducing labor if things don't hurry along. However, some women will can carry their children for 42 or 43 weeks.

I don't know of any doctors that will allow this but if you have a midwife; they are more patent.

The medical establishment does not refer to pregnancy in terms of months but by weeks. Because each month may not have the same amount of weeks. However, when you are talking to family and friends they will ask you in terms of months. Normally I just make a monthly estimate to satisfy their curiosity.

Later I will discuss my thought on the myth of the due date.

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My Miscarriage Pregnancy Journey

Hello everyone!

Today I want to let you in on my miscarriage story. If you are in the trying to conceive community or pregnancy community on YouTube, you know about the struggles that many of us women have with miscarriages.

When I had my miscarriage, my husband and I were not planning on having a baby. We didn’t even think I was ovulating. But I was. Yes, I was ovulating and I got pregnant.

Just because my child was not planned doesn’t mean that the child was unwanted. I have always wanted to be a mom. And finally, I was a mom. I was so excited I started looking up information immediately. I even told my husband over the phone. He didn’t believe me or maybe he was just shocked. At the time we had been married one month shy of five years, and this is the first time I got pregnant.

I made an appointment to a pregnancy clinic in order to get everything confirmed. The pregnancy test at the clinic confirmed a positive result. The booked a follow-up appointment for me a few days later. I didn’t know that I had to do another pregnancy test at that appointment. They told me that they liked to confirm their results. The pregnancy test was positive but the nurse commented that the line was light. Her statement kind of bothered me but I chalked it up to not being my first morning urine and drinking a lot of water that day. They then scheduled me for an ultrasound a few weeks later.

The days leading up to the ultrasound I was very nervous. For some reason, my mind kept telling me that something was going to be wrong with the baby. Maybe it was all of the miscarriage stories that I was reading online. If you are pregnant especially in the first trimester, don’t look at these types of things.

On the day of my ultrasound I was supposed to be 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The tech told me that I was measuring 5 weeks and 5 days. I was really concerned. She told me not to worry about it. She said my dates could just be off. But I knew in my heart that wasn’t the case. I knew that I had lost my baby. However, we booked a follow-up ultrasound for 2 weeks later.

During those 2 weeks I started spotting then full on bleeding. I was horrified. Everyone I talked to tried to give me a glimmer of hope. I would read stories of women that had heavy bleeding during pregnancy and I prayed that I was one of those cases. But then I started having contractions. I knew it wasn’t good. But even through all of this emotional pain the physical pain was minimal. I have had menstrual cramps that felt worse. It was almost a painless process.

With everything that was going on with my body, I chose to shut everyone out because I didn’t know what to tell them. I didn’t know if I was still pregnant or not, and I was really sad.

When my ultrasound rolled around I knew that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I told the tech about the bleeding but we had a look anyway. All we saw was a little bit of extra blood in my uterus. I had passed the sac and had no retained tissue. It was all over. This was my first proof that my dream had been crushed.

I cried and cried sobbed and sobbed. I kept telling my husband that I felt empty inside. He really didn’t understand why I was taking it so hard. But I tried to explain to him, that I had a connection with my baby as soon as a saw the pregnancy test turn positive.

Even though I lost my child, there are some positive aspects to the story.

1. It made me more sensitive to the needs of others. I am not as judgmental as I once was. You never know what someone else is going through.
2. It made me realize that I desperately wanted to be a mother and I didn’t want to wait any longer.

The tech told me that we should wait at least 3 cycles before conceiving again, in order to reduce my risk of miscarriage. Even though some doctors may tell you this, my research showed otherwise. I read that the sooner you get pregnant after a miscarriage the less likely for it to happen again.

My husband and I started trying right away and got pregnant immediately. Today I am 28 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

I feel like the child I miscarried, named Madison, gave it’s life for the child I have now. Madison brought us so much joy from the moment that we knew he or she existed. I will never forget my baby.

The things that I have experienced in the past several months is what prompted me to start this blog. When need a place that gives them all the answers.